Tonight I talked to my best friend about using heroin while I’m in California. Every time I go home and do the primo speed they have there, I end up not sleeping for 5 days and becoming a bit, how should I put this- “unhinged.” Haha. So, since I’m going to be seeing my family a bit more during this longer holiday trip, I asked my best friend, an expert due to being a daily heroin user, what she thought about possibly using heroin instead of or to balance out any speed I do while I visit her and her boyfriend.
I’m writing this for my own personal recollection at a later date, so I will not bother explaining to an imaginary audience why such a conversation is actually a very healthy and empowering thing to do. I will assume my future self and anybody I might share this with understands this.
Anyway, she asked me how I had felt about previous use of opiates – had I liked them, had I expected to like them again? We identified the possible benefits and the possible harms, discussed methods to reduce those harms, and identified potential extreme risk factors like mixing opiates and benzos. Possible harms were that I might do too much in too short a time and get too fond of it as I am obviously prone. However, I will only be with them for a few days maximum, and dependence takes steady commitment, really – and there’s no heroin back here where I live on the other side of the country. Also, while it is true that I put away Alprazolam like a god damn trashcan when I refill my silly prescription, I have already somehow put away all 60mg in the span of a few days! How convenient, for it is no longer a risk factor for overdose. The benefits are that I can indulge my propensity for, well, shooting drugs hopefully without the psychosis and mental unbalance that comes with sleep deprivation and sweet, sweet stimulants.
This was a very helpful conversation to have, and the best part was when she said, “You are your own person and I will respect whatever choice you make, and I appreciate that you ask me these questions because it shows you are smart and thoughtful and u know how much others care about you.” I love her so much, I am so lucky to have her on my side.
Active User 